Good Luck Chuck

Let us skip the pleasantries and get right to the point. I have realized something about myself: I am Good Luck Chuck. I realized this when I was perusing through facebook (aka Satan) late one evening. I decided to look at the pages of many of the women that I have dated in recent years. All of them look amazing. They are thinner. They have traveled. They have seemingly found lasting and fulfilling love. They've gotten job promotions. At first I was proud of all of them individually. Then I started to put things together. Everyone's life takes a turn for the better after they date me. So, I've been thinking, perhaps I should charge and advertise for this service. I mean, who needs Weight Watchers? Just date Soos! (one woman I used to date told me she lost 12lbs after we stopped seeing one another) Want to date pro athletes and fashion models? Date Soos first! In a rut at a deadend job? Forget going to Lincoln Tech or the University of Phoenix. It's cheaper to... That's right, JUST DATE SOOS!!! Want overall happiness? Date Soos for a short period of time and it's in the cards, baby! the moral of the story ladies is, sleep with me and a guarantee good fortune. Who knows, your waist will probably shrink and your boobs will get bigger. Smash me for a year, you'll probably become a CEO somewhere. Believe me, I've got before and after photos to prove it. My success rate is damn near 100 percent. At first, I was discourage by the fact that everyone's live gets better after they know me, but I recognize that I am doing a community service. I am a martyr. No need to thank me. Hazmatic and I'm gone...

Ain't Never had a Friend like Me

I was just reminded that the holy month of Ramaddan is fast approaching. I am beginning to conceptualize it as a period of spiritual diet and exercise. One becomes increasingly more aware of what one feeds his/her mind and soul. Abstaining from harmful material is supplemented by a steady regimen of prayer and God-conscious fasting. I realize I have gotten spiritually flabby and need a strong return to the basic principles that are supposed to guide my life. The past year has been an interesting one. I am thankful that so many good people have entered my life, and am also equally grateful for the time I shared with the good people who have walked out of it. A conversation i had with a friend last night made me realize that i have been selfish. I have offered them only a percentage of me, then expressed my disappointment when the only recipricated a small percentage of themselves. I want to warn all of my friends against behaving this way. Sometimes the key is not about the amount of love you give, it is about letting your friends know that your are givin them the absolute maximum amount possible. It is like when you parents would be more proud when they saw you sacrifice and study hard to a pull off that B- in math, then they would be of all the A's you earned in English because it came naturally. the only thing harder than earning good grades in math for me is earning someone's trust, and the only thing more difficult than that is re-earning their trust. At the sametime, I want all my friends who maybe reading this to know that i have a distinct way and type of love for each and everyone of you. If i tried to give your love to another, it would not fit and would come across fake. My next piece of advice, is fear is a good emotion but one that should be kept within the confines of you personal relationship with a higher power. Fear is what keeps us from jumping off of cliffs with no parachute, or ghostriding your whip on the freeway. However, constantly expressing your fears makes people feel accused of causing them or makes you appear to be a coward. We've all survived trials, tribulation, and disappointment and it has shaped us into the people we are today. I am warning you all of these things because they are mistakes i have made at some point in my life. What we say is extremely important since it is how we communicate what is in our hearts. People desire to be close to a brave heart, not a scared one. If you heart is scared (or scarred) how will I able to lean on you when my heart is wounded?
If you are reading this piece, cherish your friendships. Relish in them. Travel to see them. Strengthen them. Rebuild them. Forgive them. Learn from them. Love them. Hazmatic and I'm gone...

Relationship series part one...

I know, it has been a longtime. Many things have changed in my life since i last blogged. I've had a nagging ankle injury. I bought a new car. I'm getting closer to my doctorate. I've also learned new lesson about humanity and human relations. However, One of things I have realized about life is that love is specific. Many of us will be involved with someone and love them the best we know how. We offer emotional support, affection, and we even put in down in the bedroom. one would think that this would be enough to maintain a healthy, strong, lasting relationship. Those of us who are religious may even ground the partnership in a mutual relationship with a higher power and pray for his/her guidance, patience, and oversight moving forward. However, many of us will after a while feel that person withdraw (get your minds out of the gutter, I'm being serious here!) until they fade to black. We will be left confused. We will swim in an ocean of self-doubt,frustration and pity. We will hold out hope that our former partner comes to their senses. We will listen to our friends tell us that they never liked that person and point out instances that serve as evidence that that person is a bad human being. The first step to healing is using loneliness as an opportunity. Two of my heroes, Malcolm X (El Hajj Malik El-Shabazz) and Martin Luther King, Jr. both develop their ideologies and strategy while alone in prison and jails. One must use their alone time constructively and wisely. Next, we must be honest with ourselves. If we are not completely healed, do not pretend to be. If you were on a surgeon's table, you would not get up until you were clear that they had completed the procedure. You wouldn't not drive off the mechanic's lot until all of the repairs had been completed. Lastly, Love is specific. Maybe he is a jerk. Perhap she is the heartless, dragon-lady, ice-queen your friends say she is. Or maybe he/she is a decent person. The love you gave her/him may have been perfect, but it was not perfect for her/him. I believe love is more something you do than feel, but if for some reason you don't have that matching code in your souls, the other person will be unable to receive it in its entirity or appreciate it. Accept this fact and be confident that the person with your code is sitting home eating buckets of ice cream, listening to break up music and trying to heal so they will be prepared when they meet you. Hazmatic and I'm gone....