Good Luck Chuck

Let us skip the pleasantries and get right to the point. I have realized something about myself: I am Good Luck Chuck. I realized this when I was perusing through facebook (aka Satan) late one evening. I decided to look at the pages of many of the women that I have dated in recent years. All of them look amazing. They are thinner. They have traveled. They have seemingly found lasting and fulfilling love. They've gotten job promotions. At first I was proud of all of them individually. Then I started to put things together. Everyone's life takes a turn for the better after they date me. So, I've been thinking, perhaps I should charge and advertise for this service. I mean, who needs Weight Watchers? Just date Soos! (one woman I used to date told me she lost 12lbs after we stopped seeing one another) Want to date pro athletes and fashion models? Date Soos first! In a rut at a deadend job? Forget going to Lincoln Tech or the University of Phoenix. It's cheaper to... That's right, JUST DATE SOOS!!! Want overall happiness? Date Soos for a short period of time and it's in the cards, baby! the moral of the story ladies is, sleep with me and a guarantee good fortune. Who knows, your waist will probably shrink and your boobs will get bigger. Smash me for a year, you'll probably become a CEO somewhere. Believe me, I've got before and after photos to prove it. My success rate is damn near 100 percent. At first, I was discourage by the fact that everyone's live gets better after they know me, but I recognize that I am doing a community service. I am a martyr. No need to thank me. Hazmatic and I'm gone...