Good Luck Chuck

Let us skip the pleasantries and get right to the point. I have realized something about myself: I am Good Luck Chuck. I realized this when I was perusing through facebook (aka Satan) late one evening. I decided to look at the pages of many of the women that I have dated in recent years. All of them look amazing. They are thinner. They have traveled. They have seemingly found lasting and fulfilling love. They've gotten job promotions. At first I was proud of all of them individually. Then I started to put things together. Everyone's life takes a turn for the better after they date me. So, I've been thinking, perhaps I should charge and advertise for this service. I mean, who needs Weight Watchers? Just date Soos! (one woman I used to date told me she lost 12lbs after we stopped seeing one another) Want to date pro athletes and fashion models? Date Soos first! In a rut at a deadend job? Forget going to Lincoln Tech or the University of Phoenix. It's cheaper to... That's right, JUST DATE SOOS!!! Want overall happiness? Date Soos for a short period of time and it's in the cards, baby! the moral of the story ladies is, sleep with me and a guarantee good fortune. Who knows, your waist will probably shrink and your boobs will get bigger. Smash me for a year, you'll probably become a CEO somewhere. Believe me, I've got before and after photos to prove it. My success rate is damn near 100 percent. At first, I was discourage by the fact that everyone's live gets better after they know me, but I recognize that I am doing a community service. I am a martyr. No need to thank me. Hazmatic and I'm gone...

Ain't Never had a Friend like Me

I was just reminded that the holy month of Ramaddan is fast approaching. I am beginning to conceptualize it as a period of spiritual diet and exercise. One becomes increasingly more aware of what one feeds his/her mind and soul. Abstaining from harmful material is supplemented by a steady regimen of prayer and God-conscious fasting. I realize I have gotten spiritually flabby and need a strong return to the basic principles that are supposed to guide my life. The past year has been an interesting one. I am thankful that so many good people have entered my life, and am also equally grateful for the time I shared with the good people who have walked out of it. A conversation i had with a friend last night made me realize that i have been selfish. I have offered them only a percentage of me, then expressed my disappointment when the only recipricated a small percentage of themselves. I want to warn all of my friends against behaving this way. Sometimes the key is not about the amount of love you give, it is about letting your friends know that your are givin them the absolute maximum amount possible. It is like when you parents would be more proud when they saw you sacrifice and study hard to a pull off that B- in math, then they would be of all the A's you earned in English because it came naturally. the only thing harder than earning good grades in math for me is earning someone's trust, and the only thing more difficult than that is re-earning their trust. At the sametime, I want all my friends who maybe reading this to know that i have a distinct way and type of love for each and everyone of you. If i tried to give your love to another, it would not fit and would come across fake. My next piece of advice, is fear is a good emotion but one that should be kept within the confines of you personal relationship with a higher power. Fear is what keeps us from jumping off of cliffs with no parachute, or ghostriding your whip on the freeway. However, constantly expressing your fears makes people feel accused of causing them or makes you appear to be a coward. We've all survived trials, tribulation, and disappointment and it has shaped us into the people we are today. I am warning you all of these things because they are mistakes i have made at some point in my life. What we say is extremely important since it is how we communicate what is in our hearts. People desire to be close to a brave heart, not a scared one. If you heart is scared (or scarred) how will I able to lean on you when my heart is wounded?
If you are reading this piece, cherish your friendships. Relish in them. Travel to see them. Strengthen them. Rebuild them. Forgive them. Learn from them. Love them. Hazmatic and I'm gone...

Relationship series part one...

I know, it has been a longtime. Many things have changed in my life since i last blogged. I've had a nagging ankle injury. I bought a new car. I'm getting closer to my doctorate. I've also learned new lesson about humanity and human relations. However, One of things I have realized about life is that love is specific. Many of us will be involved with someone and love them the best we know how. We offer emotional support, affection, and we even put in down in the bedroom. one would think that this would be enough to maintain a healthy, strong, lasting relationship. Those of us who are religious may even ground the partnership in a mutual relationship with a higher power and pray for his/her guidance, patience, and oversight moving forward. However, many of us will after a while feel that person withdraw (get your minds out of the gutter, I'm being serious here!) until they fade to black. We will be left confused. We will swim in an ocean of self-doubt,frustration and pity. We will hold out hope that our former partner comes to their senses. We will listen to our friends tell us that they never liked that person and point out instances that serve as evidence that that person is a bad human being. The first step to healing is using loneliness as an opportunity. Two of my heroes, Malcolm X (El Hajj Malik El-Shabazz) and Martin Luther King, Jr. both develop their ideologies and strategy while alone in prison and jails. One must use their alone time constructively and wisely. Next, we must be honest with ourselves. If we are not completely healed, do not pretend to be. If you were on a surgeon's table, you would not get up until you were clear that they had completed the procedure. You wouldn't not drive off the mechanic's lot until all of the repairs had been completed. Lastly, Love is specific. Maybe he is a jerk. Perhap she is the heartless, dragon-lady, ice-queen your friends say she is. Or maybe he/she is a decent person. The love you gave her/him may have been perfect, but it was not perfect for her/him. I believe love is more something you do than feel, but if for some reason you don't have that matching code in your souls, the other person will be unable to receive it in its entirity or appreciate it. Accept this fact and be confident that the person with your code is sitting home eating buckets of ice cream, listening to break up music and trying to heal so they will be prepared when they meet you. Hazmatic and I'm gone....

Well, there is alot to talk about. First, I want to say a brief prayer. I pray that the soldiers who go to Afghanistan remain safe, along with the Afghan people, especial civilians. I pray that we move toward a society where everyone can afford healthcare benefits. Most of all i pray for our children. I was listening to a popualr Baltimore radio station earlier today. They were having a town hall meeting to address the youth violence that has plagued the streets of Baltimore and other cities nationwide. The meeting was held at an AME church called the Empowerment Temple, which is led by a charismatic young minister by the name of Jamal Bryant. During the meeting, a popular radio host stated "single mothers, you can be role models for your sons as well." I nodded my head in agreement as I sat in my car. He then said, "you need to start beating your children, that part of the problem. Noone beats their kids anymore." The other panelist laughingly agreed. i was stunned and horrified. One can easily point out the fact that I have no children, so it is easy and convenient to suggest how other people should raise their kids. However, I have been involved in the rearing of my three nephews and I have seen what works and what doesn't. Contrary to what this radio host stated, I believe that the reason for the violence in Baltimore is in part because many of these children are being beaten. They see violence in their homes and believe that it is the first means to solving a problem. If you do decide on corporal punishment for your children follow my grandfather's rule and never hit your children out of frustration or anger. At that point it does matter how hard or soft you hit him or her, it is abuse. Wait until you have calmed down before you administer the spanking. The first answer to youth violence may begin with hugging your children and telling them they are brilliant. I have always credited my father, with encouraging me to believe my potential was limitless. I recall him telling me often statements like "you are destined for greatness." I am a firm believer in positive reinforcement for children. I believe if you took two children of equal capacity for learning and achievement, and told one he/she was brilliant, beautiful, and that he/she is filled with potential and told the other they were stupid, ugly, and going to be a failure, 98 times out of 100, the former child would succeed in life. Maybe more importantly, the later child would almost always fail in some or all facets of life. Malcolm X, Marcus Garvey and many others have taught black people the love of self is paramount to success and self-determination. once we love ourselves we will be better equipped to love others. Those lessons must begin in the home. Our community also needs role models who truly stand for something. Kids, in their infinite skepticism, are better at sniffing out charletons than adults. Which brings me full circle back to Jamal Bryant. Our children are robbing one another and adults because they feel the pressure to keep up with a materialistic society. Jamal Bryant, a supposed man of God, bragged about driving a Bentley (while preaching and collecting tithes from some of the city and state's poorest citizens). Too many preachers forget that Jesus himself was never monetarily wealthy. Bryant had an affair and impregnated an underage girl, while his wife sat home nursing their 3 year old and one year old twins. He also has a 8 year old child whom he previously had very little to do with. I do think men of the cloth should be held to a high standard, and how can you criticize parents with such an horrendous track record? I really don't care that Tiger Woods was swinging his club on someone elses green. I would not criticize Pastor Bryant either, if he A) slept with women over the age of 18 and B) made like a Christmas gift and wrapped it up. To his credit he did say some good things (including how our need good role models lol). But he ended the session by stating the following: "we will end this meeting in 90 seconds... but we are still in a church, so I can not let the crowd leave without taking up an offering." Amen to the almighty dollar.

My Dreams

Ok, so I'm writing this from my work computer, which doesn't have the hiccups like my home computer. The grammar should be improved as a result. My album is coming in less than 24 hours. It feels strange. When the Wade Waters album dropped, I was excited and nervous. I lobbied everyone I knew personally to buy the record. Now, I am floating this piece of work out into the atmosphere. I don't even think my pops is going to buy it. I still believe God has a blessing in store for me. It's still exciting. Devin Jones is getting his start. DEllis is getting his official tribute. It is a way for me to tell people I care for them. The staff from Foundation for the People of Burma wrote me a touching letter and email. I responded that I was embarassed i could only send them a small amount of money. They reponded that that was not what mattered. It made me think that however this album does or how much it sells isn't the most important thing. It's how it effects the people it actually touches. I hope that some kid stumbles upon it, and stands tall for his/her friends, community, or someone he/she doesn't even know. I hope straight kids listen to this and want to stand tall for gay kids. That the next good leader of Burma is a young person whose community is being served by Foundation for the people of Burma. He may never hear the album or understand it, but would be affected by it indirectly. i pray that the first female president of the US is some intern on the hill who workes for the DC Rape Crisis Center hotlines in her sparetime. Again, she's probably got Drake in her iPod, but will be indirectly affected by the resources made available by the sales of this record.. I hope someone purchases the album in order to make my hopes, prayers, and dreams come true.

Life and Death and Life After Death

Wow it's been a minute! Recently, I haven't really been focusing on promoting the album. I know alot of people have been wondering what's been going on (by alot of you, I mean the two of you who actually read this blog). Well, last week was a challenging one to say the least. First, I received a message from my mom telling me that she was having chest pain. She was reluctant to go to the hospital because of the cost, even though she survived a triple bypass surgery about 10 years prior. She is one of the 40 million or so uninsured Americans who have to choose between death and financial ruin. Eventually the pain became unbareable and she had to go to the hospital. I stay with my niece until her return. One night became two, two became three, until she was sent over to Hopkins for surgery. After bypass surgery, any operation on the heart becomes that much more delicate. While I stayed in Ellicott City, MD, I decided to see my doctor to check up on the fatigue i had been experiencing. I wanted to get some blood work down to make sure it wasn't a thyroid problem or something. My doctor felt my lymph nodes and immediate sent me down for a chest x-ray. He later said "I don't want to scare you but some of this is consistent with Hodgkins disease." So, thoroughly freaked out, I returned home and waited both my results and those of my mom. During which time, I became obsessed and convinced of my own mortality and approaching decline. "How could this be?" I keep thinking. I weight 162 pounds and I bench press 235. I'm as strong and healthy as i have ever been. My doctor told me he would call me friday, but I finally got the results Tuesday that everything looked normal. My mother left the hospital Sunday and her heart surgery was a success (we'll see about the financial ruin thing). As I spoke to friends about this situation, I realized how much or little my demise would effect people. Many people who i suspected would have been as frightened or concerned for me as i was, were almost unaffected. At first this made me sad to think that i didn't make the mark with my life and the time that God had given me. In the end, It made me even more convinced that I am doing the right thing by giving my music money to charity. If I haven't made a big enough difference in the lives of the people I know, the least i can do is help provide resources for the people who change peoples lives for the better. I you care for and appreciate someone let them know. Also, acknowledge when someone you know does something to benefit another, big or small. I appreciate everyone at Words Beats & Life, Inc who serve some of the forgotten communities in DC. I remember when Mazi told me he was going to do WBL fulltime, i told him he was nuts. He needed health insurance and a steady pay check. However, that was what drove him. The people at Foundation Burma and the DC Rape Crisis Center the same way. I salute all of you, in whatever you do to help others. It's a blessing that I have alittle more time to make a mark.
The debut Haysoos album
Standing Tall: A Life Changing Experience
Oct. 28, 2009

Eat to Live

This particular entry is dedicated to Gertrude Baines, a beautiful African American woman who recently passed at the tender age of 115. Mrs. Baines enjoyed bacon and fried chicken and lived alone until she reached 107. She was the oldest human being on the planet, and rested comfortably in her home. Yet, Mrs. Baines had a lesson for all. She still saw the importance of exercising her civic duty. She voted in the last election and was rewarded by the higher power to be able live to see the first Black president of the United States of America. My uncle Charlie of Purcellville, VA maybe challenging for that spot of oldest person in the coming years. Uncle Charlie gardens regularly, walks without a cane often, and drives himself around (fast). He has a 60-something girlfriend and a diet that consists of a health portion of Black olives because they "improve your sexual performance." I often remind my significant other that she may have 71 more years of boom-boom in her future if she sticks with me, since Charlie and I share the same gene pool. She usually responds with a sigh and by demanding a back massage. The truth is, most African Americans die relatively young, due to hypertension, diabetes, and other diet related illnesses. The Japanese now have 40,000 people over the age of 100. Why? Because they eat healthy and in moderation. The get regular exercise. Thus, they live longer and have a good quality of life. I would bet that quite a few of them are bumping and grinding well into their eighties and nineties. This fact is precisely why we Americans must take the advice the Honorable Elijah Muhammad gave us long ago and "eat to live." Eat fish, veggies and berries. Go easy on the liquor and beer. Do not smoke. Try not to order out to often. As a matter of fact, I am making myself crave a hungry meal and it is almost time to eat, as the sun is setting. Hazmatic and I'm gone....